求一个关于数学的英语笑话

1)定理/Theorem：1 = -1
证明/Proof：
x=1
x^2=x
x^2-1=x-1
(x+1)(x-1)=(x-1)
(x+1)=(x-1)/(x-1)
x+1=1
x=0
0=1
=> 0/0=1/1=1
2)Pi
Several scientists were all posed the following question:"What is pi "
The engineer said:"It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
The physicist said:"It is 3.14159"
The mathematician thought a bit,and replied "It is equal to pi".
A nutritionist:"Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"
3)
A mathematician,a physicist,and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer,"I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist,"You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician,"All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland,and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"
4) An absent minded professor (alright,it was Norbert Weiner) was moving.His wife,knowing Norbert would forget his address,took out a sheet of paper and wrote it down for him.Later that day,Norbert had a flash of insight,and fumbling for a piece of paper,wrote down his new theorem on the paper his wife gave him.On further reflection,Norbert found a fallacy in this thinking and threw out the paper in disgust.When he came home that night,to the now empty house he moved from,he remembered he had moved,but had no idea where he had moved to.Just then he spied a little girl on the street."Little girl," he asked,"my name is Norbert Weiner,do you know where I live now?"
"Yes daddy,mommy thought you would forget."
5)
Applied mathematics
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man,you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman,you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men,but
married men are a lot more willing to die.
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes,there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change,but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling,telling me,"You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
6) Why did the number get mad at his wife?
Q:Why did the number get mad at his wife?
A:Because she was being irrational.
7) Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
Q:Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A:Because they thought they had a good dot product.
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