雅思G类小作文批改!

问题描述:

雅思G类小作文批改!
你在超市碰到一个事故,请你给主管写信,要求1.say who you are 2.give details about the accident 3.suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents
以下为本人信件:
dear sir,
I'm a customer who come to your supermaket every day for the goods I need in the dailylife.
But today,I had been hurt by one of the heavin things which was put on the high in your market.As your supermaket has less chairs compared whit the lots of people,so I couldn't find a chair that was free.Without chair ,it is hard to get the goods which were put on the high.I had called the servers in the market,but they were too busy to help me .So I should picked it down by myself.And then I had been hurt by the things
that were put on the high.
So I write this letter to suggest you to prevent this accident happen again.You should add more chairs or servers inside the supermaket to make people safety.
see you.
TOM
4th Dec

Dear Sir./ Madam,
My name is Tom and I am a customer of your supermarket.Today I fell off the ladder while trying to reach a bottle of shampoo on the top shelf.
All the others were sold out,there was only one bottle left and it was put on the top shelf.I asked for help,but all the assistants were busy.Then I tried to get it by myself.It took me a long time to find a ladder.Even when i stood on the top of the ladder,the shampoo was still very hard to reach.The accident happened when I stood on the tip of my toes,I lost balance and fell off the ladder.some other bottles fell off and hit on my head as well.
After all happened,finally there was a shop assistant to help me out.Luckily,I only hurt my left foot ankle and the doctor said it will be fine in a couple of days.
I am a very loyal customer to your supermarket and I shop here everyday.But what happened today makes me very disappointed.What I suggest to do is to add more people during busy hours so that customers can be looked after when needed.Besides,I believe your supermarket needs to train your staff to improve their service quality as well.I am sure there were assistants saw me struggling reaching the bottle on the top shelf and nobody offered help.
I hope you could give this issue your immediate attention.Thank you for your time.
Yours Sincerely,
Tom