请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文.

问题描述:

请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文.
1有些人认为某些数字会带来好运
2 也有些人认为数字与运气无关
3 试说明自己的看法
From the ancient times to the present,there are some people think that the number have magic power and some good numbers will bring them good luck.Many Chinese businessman like the number of 8 and they hold that it means wealth.Most importantly,it will let their business getting better and better.Morover,a part of high school students,especially the students who are about to attend the university entrance examination.They like to choose the seats which number is "8","18","28"."38"or "58",because they considered the number will help them to pass the exam or enter the university easily.
Tough some people think that the good numbers will bring good luck to themselves,but a section of people hold whatever they are lucky or not ,it is unconcemed with the good nimber or bad number.They believe in if a people who are working hard or studying hard,he should become a lucky man.On the centrary,the lazy people who always stay at home and haven't work,but he often hope a good number of 8 will bring good luck to themselves,it just a dream!
As far as I'm concerned,I think it is absurd that a good number can help us to pass the exam or get more money.So every people should work or study hardly and shouldn't make a fetish os a good number,such as "8","18" or "28".

简单给你修改了一下:
From the ancient times to the present,there are people thinking that numbers may have magic power and some specific numbers will bring them good luck.Many Chinese businessmen like the number of 8 and they hold that it means prosperity.Most importantly,it will make their business getting better and better.Morover,some high school students,especially those who are about to attend the university entrance examination,like to choose the seats numbered 8,18,28,38 or 58,because they considered the numbers will help them pass the exam or enter universities easily.
Although some people think that good numbers will bring good luck,others hold whatever they are lucky or not,totally unconcerned with the good numbers or bad numbers.They believe in if anyone is working hard or studying hard,he should become a lucky man.On the contrary,lazy people who always stay at home and haven't worked,but he often hope a good number of 8 will bring good luck to themselves,it just a dream!
As far as I'm concerned,I think it is absurd that a good number can help us pass exams or make more money.So everybody should work or study hard and shouldn't make a fuss over a good number,such as "8","18" or "28".