帮忙改篇英语作文,高考标准,30分,打个分并指出错误.

问题描述:

帮忙改篇英语作文,高考标准,30分,打个分并指出错误.
Where there is a will ,there is a way
I'm dead keen on this proverb because it can give me confidence and courage .This is an old proverb .which means if you want to do something,you should stick to it.
The proverb mentioned above vividly mirrors a fact that a will can change everything.In addition ,we will spare no efforts to hit the ultimate goal due to the will.How important the will it is
From where I stand,I have a will .My experience can explain the proverb perfectly.I once failed an important examination ,and I almost lost heart .Faced with this situation ,I had no alternative but to study harder .Hard as I tried ,I failed again .However ,I still believe that the failure is temporary for a deligent man but it is permanent for a lazy man ,
To sum up ,It is essential for us to stick to our dream .Only in this way can we have a rosy future .

评语: 作者词汇表达较丰富准确,不过学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间;文中衔接词丰富;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用.which means if you want to do something, you should stick to it.[句子错误] 请检查want,确认...