改篇英语作文,高考标准,小弟英语烂请耐心指出错误,万分感谢

问题描述:

改篇英语作文,高考标准,小弟英语烂请耐心指出错误,万分感谢
根据You can't choose what you are given , but you can choose how you make use of it.写篇作文
Life is like a box of chocolate,you never know what you are going to get. What we can do is to enjoy the life .
For instance,we can't change our looking and brain.Faced with this situation,we have no alternative but to make full use of it.Maybe I haven't great intelligence,but I have strong perseverance.No one can deny the fact that sweat and effort can prove ourselves.So it is necessary for us to stick to our dream. Only in this way can we have a rosy life.
To sum up,it is justified for us to bravely change the fate.Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

整体来说,挺好的!
enjoy life ,the去掉
change our looks
and brain改为 or brain
Faced with this situation“面对这一局面/局势”这个短语用于此处,太大了,改为 In this way, "因此"
I don't have great intelligence
have a rosy life改为 have a rosy future 意思更通顺些
to bravely change the fate. 改为 to be brave and try to change our fate.
还有个建议:整篇中you与we来回替换,有时让你迷惑,可以统一一下,注意连贯谢谢,我有时候感觉写起来不很顺,而且连词用得不好,一篇文章绕来绕去的,这些是不是要经常练才行?是的,别客气!写作最好的方式是模仿。多读一下英文读物,多学习他们的表达就好了。自己多写也很重要,practice makes perfect!