很短的英文句子,语法没错麼?

问题描述:

很短的英文句子,语法没错麼?
The photo is displayed in such an obvious way:in the middle of the page,taking up one third of the space,instantly evokes a sense of deep concern in the reader.
冒号用的对麼?还有语法对麼?

The photo is displayed in such an obvious way:in the middle of the page,taking up one third of the space,instantly evoking a sense of deep concern among the reader.