请大家帮忙看看这篇托福作文能得多少分?

问题描述:

请大家帮忙看看这篇托福作文能得多少分?
always tell the truth is the most important thing in any relationships?agree/disagree
嗯..文如下.
Whether or not always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship is debated by many people.Some people believe that being honest is the basic therefore the most important thing in a relationship,while I doubt the importance of being honest is not everything in a relationship.
First of all,what I seek in a relationship is love,not the truth.It is true that most people find a person tend to seem more trustful if he or she always tells the truth.However,telling the truth is not the most important thing in a relationship.For example,when you are looking for a partner,most people do not try to find a completely honest person but a person who love them and is able to understand and support them when they are down.Also,what you seek from a family member is caring and understanding.Honesty is considered very important but most people find a white lie will not be harmful to a relationship as long as there is love between them.
Secondly,even though telling the truth is important,always telling the truth is sometimes unnecessary in a relationship.A common example would be a student who is not very talented at math will not find his or her relationship with a friend unreliable if his or her friend encourages or even lies to make him or her feel better after a math test.
In addition,there are many different types of relationships,which means telling the truth weighs differently in different types of relationships.Being honest may be the most important consideration in a business relationship where cheats and distrusts will greatly harm the harmony between people.However,the most important thing in other relationships such as relationship between family members and lovers will also depends on which type of relationship it is.
In conclusion,always telling the truth is important but is not the most important consideration in a relationship because there is no meaning of a relationship if there is only honesty instead of love.Since being completely honest is not always necessary and different relationships weigh being honest differently,a statement such as “always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship” is very unaccurate.

个人感觉不会超过23分,估计21分左右,我将从结构和用词句两方面说明
结构方面:有明确论点,但论据稍显薄弱.但有一个致命缺点...楼主在首段只阐述了现状,没有明确给出自己观点,首段一定要给出明确观点,agree or disagree 不要做出含糊表达.
词句方面:造句方面楼主在句型已具一定变化,但观点最好要paraphase不要抄题目..大问题出在用词上,important some等4级以下词汇频繁出现,会让考官怀疑楼主词汇量..举例而言通篇讲重要只有important这一个词..重复痕迹明显,考官会怀疑你是否只会这一个词,但显然楼主TOEFL词背了不止7 8 遍了..多用替换essential vital significant等
楼主发个问题肯定不是就为了看个分数找个自信的,肯定是来找问题,所以不要怪我太苛刻 ,建议加强词语训练