各位大虾谁帮我改一下作文?

各位大虾谁帮我改一下作文?
主题是关于白色污染的提议
dear sir or madam:
i am one of the ABC university students who love to read your newspaper very much.i venture to write you a letter about white pollution.I would be grateful if you would be kind enough to think of my suggestions.
in my opinion,the above situation can be improved by following ways.First and foremost,the social sectors should make it illegal to offer plastic shopping bags.Additionally,the shops can offer some colorful paper bags when the customers buy a lot of things.consequently,the volunteers can make some activities and teach people not to use plastic bags.
I would like to express my gratitude for your kind consideration of my requests.Thank you for your time.I look forward to hearing from you soon.
yours,
li ming
各位大虾帮我看看我的作文
1满分十分我几分
2这篇作文有没有很明显的莫版的痕迹?
3有没有语法等错误