请英语高手帮我看看这篇文章有没有语句错误,有的话给我改改,

请英语高手帮我看看这篇文章有没有语句错误,有的话给我改改,
Dear Fang,
I understand that you are in a dilemma.Although so many graduates are eager to set feet on their work-life road,there are still some who prefer to start their new life after gaining another degree to make better preparation for entering society.In my opinion,the latter are more admirable.You are good at all your course these years,so if you do like to spend another two or three years on campus,you should stick to it.In today's society,the achievement and status you can get and the devotion you can make are no doubt in proportion to your educational background and degrees,coupled with the efforts you put in them.If you want to stride to your destinations more smoothly and easily,why not head for the further study courageously?Whichever you choose,I firmly believe your industry will ensure your success.After all,it is you who have the finally say on the final choice.
Best wishes,
Yours sincerely