这片英语文章有没有错误和不当的地方?

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这片英语文章有没有错误和不当的地方?
If without music,people can't live very well in the world.My hobby is listening to the music.I love Jay best.Jay is one of the most famous singers in China,and his music has the individuality very much.When I rest after long-time study,listening to music can let me feel relaxed,and it also can lets me happy.
I like listening to music.I like my hobby.

without music people can't live verywell in the world.My hobby is listening to the music.I love Jay best,Jay ison the most famous singers in China,and his music has so much individualityWhen I have a ...