麻烦帮忙改改文章(英文的)

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麻烦帮忙改改文章(英文的)
Juvenile Delinquency
As is known to all,juvenile delinquency has been taking into account by public.A increasing number of people is thinking what cause the phenomenon.However,I personally believed that three significant factors contributing to the consequence,social element,domestic element and individual element respectively as follows.
Obviously,due to the government seem to fail to pay attention to the basic fact that education plays an indispensable role in each person’s life,gradually,young people commit crimes.The government ,therefore,should attach great importance to adolescent education.
Nevertheless,children also affected by the domestic element far-reaching.Some parents often argue each other for the money in their child’s presence.It totally makes children not emotional,ultimately,leading to commit crime.The money is important to all of us whereas the importance of education of adolescence far outweigh the money.For this reason,I think the parents should pay attention to the adolescent education.
Hence,my view is that the youth see quite a few violence film,simultaneously,they imitate what the actors do.Because of this,the juvenile delinquency rate are soaring and soaring day by day.Indulgence in violence film affects child’s mind seriously.We,the youth in 21th century,should give up see film like this.
If you were a victim of juvenile delinquency,you should take a correct attitude and rebuild you life.
Overall,this is my point of view,I wish everyone would have a colorful and fruitful life in the future.

juvenile delinquency has been taking into account by public.这里应是被动啊,怎么成了主动?by public应改为BY THE PUBLIC.A increasing number of people is thinking这里的IS 要改成AREHowever,I personally bel...