这句英语可以这么说吗

问题描述:

这句英语可以这么说吗
I'd like to adjust my vacation arrangement as follow, would you please check if that is ok.
想将假期调成这样,询问是否可以.
谢谢

这样说比较好 I'd like to adjust my vacation arrangement as follow,would you please check if it is ok for you?