这篇文章在雅思中能得几分?

这篇文章在雅思中能得几分?
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work,job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Nowadays,most people would like to spend a significant time on working during their adult life.Job is an important part to decide their quality of life.Many factors cause job satisfaction.Meanwhile,the expectations of job satisfaction always follow self-condition and the wide environment.This essay will explain above opinions.
At the beginning,salary is the most important factor of job satisfaction,because salary is needed for living.When people earn money,they can buy necessary goods and normal goods.Although there are unlimited wants for people,the job satisfaction improved,as people are able to buy more normal goods and luxury goods.Moreover,holiday is another important factor.Most people want to have suitable holiday like double-leisure days.Since leisure time make workers relaxed and have much energy for working.Therefore,salary and leisure time have momentous influence on job satisfaction.
Furthermore,the job satisfaction also determined by working condition.In majority,workers are willing to accept employers with positive attitude.For instance,if workers have trouble like sickness,they wish to acquire assistance from the employers especially reimburse the expenses of medical treatment.On the other hand,the distance from workers’ home to the company and the communication between workers are also included in working condition.In addition,people often anticipate job contentment adapt to real condition.
In general,the expectation of job satisfaction usually according to diploma and working experience.Besides the paragraph above,all workers desire high salary and long leisure time at the same time.The circumstance of working is a part in the expectation of job satisfaction as well.
Consequently,there are many factors contribute to job satisfaction.It can be received by good working condition,welling-paid salary and long vacation.Hence,the expectations of job satisfaction for all workers are related to their ability and external environment.
求高手帮我看看大概能打几分呢?我严重怀疑我写跑题了……如果目标是7分的话,需要改进哪些地方呢?感激不尽!
（PS：因为不确定有没有人回答这个问题,所以悬赏分不高……如有人回答我一定会增加悬赏分的!）