帮忙点评下我的作文,全国英语创新大赛的.

帮忙点评下我的作文,全国英语创新大赛的.
知道自己作文不怎么样,
100分无法表达我的心意……
Value of Exams in Schools
Direction:Students have experienced a lot of exams all through their school years.They may have a lot to say about the present exam systems.You are allowed 60 minutes to write a composition on the topic:Value of Exams in Schools.You should write about 300 words,and base your composition on the following outline.
Role of exams
Your experience of failure at one exam
Suggestions to better exam systems
= =我知道我写超了,400多字儿..用了55分钟的样子?
以下是作文：
Something about exams
We students ,especially in many Oriental country ,face great pressure for exams .It seems that the only standard to measure our acdemic achievments is the result of exams.Not only do teachers appraise one’s ability by exams ,but also parents .As a concequence,many of us regard exams as the most important things in our present life.
Is exams necessary?The answer is yes .The current education situation – a great number of students and only a few famous universities—means we need a powerful exam system for fairness .If not ,it would be impossible for some students from a poor family ,particular for those come from rural places ,to change their lives by studying .On the other hand ,top universities might become privilege of the rich.Anyway ,unfairness will lead to catastrophe in society .we all know that in a normal society ,anyone,whoever they are and wherever they come from,should get equal opportunites for their development .
As the old saying implies ,every coin has two sides .There should be some drawbacks of our exam system .For one thing ,stutents usually have to bear a lot expectation .Once they fail ,the expectation would overwhelm them .I am a quite outstanding students sometime ,but I am also a mediocre one,because often my brain cannot work properly as I usually do during exams for no reason .I usually feel extreme depressed after those frequent failures .Teachers and parents’s faces filled with disapionting also hurt me always .We have to bear a lot in one exam ,which come from our teachers,parents ,friends and even ourselves.
Some aspecets should be improved in our present exam system .First of all ,the frequencies of university entrence examinations should increase to at least two times a year ,which can great decrease the pressure students bear before exams.For ,instance there are 6 SAT exams and 5 ACT exams every year in America ,as a result ,students in the U.S don’t worry about the possibility that failure in exams would change their whole life .Besides ,The content our exams conclude should also get some change .There shouldn’t be a gap between the humanities and the sicence .
Exams ,which we are familiar with ,is not always as hateful as we consider ,though there still are many unreasonable actuality in exams .It is the best way we can choose now ,isn it?