希望大家对我的英文作文进行点评纠正!

你的文章本身写得很不错!只有个别需要优化之处,参见【】的修改和简要说明——
Free Admission to Museums
Nowadays,the pulic are given access to more and more museums without entrance
tickets.
Some people hold the view that it will【 bring ——bring about引起；导致】 some problems.First of all,museums need money to support themselves .Since many admission tickets have been cancelled,most museums may get into trouble【添加 in management and in repair】【because of 】lacking of fund.Then it will results in a more serious consequence that the 【 museums】 feel weak in many activities and 【 exhibitions 】which are open to the public without restriction.So the damage 【is——may be表述更中肯 】 done to the public themselves in turn.
In my eyes ,free admission to museums benefits the public.In that
way,everyone has a chance to enter the museums to 【add——help enrich 】 their knowledge and 【open their eyes——broaden their horizons 】.Everyone,poor or rich,has 【a——an 】equal right to involve in cultural exchange which can 【erich man’s ——make their】 inner life【full】 .In a large sense ,it contributes to the spiritual civilization construction.Although the trend may lead to heavy cost 【of ——for】museums ,the government should give them powerful support not only in finance but also in policy ,for museums can’t develop well 【only】 on their own strengths.
In summary ,I suppose free admisson to museums is very necessary
and important.
祝你开心如意!