求高手点评,能得几分啊?雅思作文

问题描述:

求高手点评,能得几分啊?雅思作文
People who move to a new country should accept the new culture as their own.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is quite common that modern people go abroad to study,work or do business.What is meant by this is that people who move to a foreign country will be confronted with more troubles in the further because of the cultural diversity.Therefore,those who will be in the new countries for a long time should adapt to the local culture as soon as possible.
Obviously,it is certainly to bring advantages to migrators to accept the new culture early.We have observed that people who live in the foreign style perform better in their fields.That is,cultural difference cannot place barriers for those who could adapt to the new life quickly.besides,people are provided more opportunities to learn about the local culture when they live in the local style.They should think by the local thinking style and work by the local working style,which are regarded as the first hand experience.Last,i would like to emphysis that migrators living in the local style reduces the rate of conflict with the locals .Specifically,those who look the new countries as their own will treat the residents friendly and do not harm the locals.
Although we should benefit from acccepting the new culture when we move to other countries ,no one can deny that it places a negative influence on the cultural identity.For example,research has shown that there is no language that could keep its original words as a multitude of foreign words are used.Despite that ,i do believe people in the foreign country should get along with the local culture in order to live in a comfortable life.
All in all,people moving to a new country should make their effort to suit the new life and not neglect their own culture.What is needed ,therefore ,is a clear perspective.we analysis issue ,which part of culture is positive,placing a objective view.only the advanced areas would we learn.

内容完整,观点鲜明.
单词复杂,句型多样.
结构符合标准.
根据经验至少7分.
建议:第2段观点略多,使具体分析略少.