请大家帮忙修改下英语作文

问题描述:

请大家帮忙修改下英语作文
假设你是王明,上周你在商店买了一台电视机,回家后发现有这样那样的质量问题(声音、色彩失真等),去商店要求退还.营业员服务态度又不好,不予受理,因此你给经理写一封投诉信.信中必须包括以下内容:1.事情的起因2.与商店交涉的经过3.呼吁服务行业必须提高服务质量(参考词汇:失真 distorted)
Dear manager,
I am writing to tell you that(此前为开头)one incident happened some days before .Last week I bought a TV set from your store .But when I returned home .I found that it has a number kinds of quality problems like sound and colors distorted .Therefore ,I took it back to store to ask for change .When I talked to the shopkeeper ,however ,I was treated very badly .And I was told that he won’t solve this problem .
I think ,never will a company develop well with badly service .The service industry must improve their service quality
Hope to get a solution
Yours sincerely ,
Wang Ming

Dear manager,
I am writing to tell you that(此前为开头)one incident happened some days before . Last week I bought a TV set from your store . But when I returned home . I found that (把that 删去)it has a number(把a number改为some) kinds of quality problems like sound and colors distorted . Therefore , I took it back to store to ask for change . When I talked to the shopkeeper , however , I was treated very badly . And I was told that he won’t (把won’t 改为couldn't)solve this problem .
I think , never will a company (把never will移至company 后,并把never will删除)develop well with badly service . The service industry must improve their service quality !
Hope to get a solution !
Yours sincerely ,
Wang Ming能说说为什么吗。。。- -把that 删去,因为这句话不是定语从句;把a number改为some,因为没有a number kinds of这个用法;把won’t 改为couldn't,因为这篇文章为过去式;把never will移至company 后,并把never will删除,因为这句话的语序不对。