Growing population make an increasing number of city become full of people

这句话从语法上分析没有错误,但是读起来挺别扭,一般象这种表示由什么什么引起的句子,一般都是用by+原因 放在句末,你这个句子一看就是咱中国人的思维,如果是鬼子说,肯定要用 by growing population 放在句末
an increasing number of这个用的倒没有什么错误,但是后面的city应该用复数形式cities
become full of people 这个是错误的,city 怎么能变成 people呢?如果说城市里塞满了人,直接用full of people就行了 被动语态的话用 be filled with people
时态我觉得用现在进行时会表达的更好一些,表明正在发生的一个过程
所以给你改改,An increasing number of cities are being filled with people by growing population.或者 are filled with
如果你觉得把growing population放在最前面好点,那就说
Growing population make an increasing number of cities full of people.这样也行,不过比较平淡.