求检查一段英语短文:October 1st is the National Day of China.

问题描述:

求检查一段英语短文:October 1st is the National Day of China.
October 1st is the National Day of China.So we have a long holiday.I'm very happy because I can go to some places for fun and eat some good food.well,in the National Day,how can we keep healthy?
In Chinese way,many people think we need a balance of yin and yang to be healthy.So we should have good eating habits.For example,if someone often weak ang tired ,maybe he has too much yin.He should have some yang food like beef.And all of us should eat less oil.It is really very bad to our health.

第二句去掉so,中式英语才有so.if someone is often.and tired,语法错误应该没有了,但是这篇文章太中式了,如果要改就要大篇幅地改.是初中作文吧,初中作文能这样很不错了.......没错,我的确是初二学生,那请问我到底要怎样改呢?谢谢!