请帮忙赏析一下这首英语诗friend and wish(友情与期望),自创,本人15岁!

问题描述:

请帮忙赏析一下这首英语诗friend and wish(友情与期望),自创,本人15岁!
Like the time unable to turn the clock back,
就像时间无法倒流一样,
I can not anticipate what will happen tomorrow,
我无法预料明天会怎样,
So,I will carefully spend every day,
所以我会用心度过每天,
To be honest,
说实话,
I'm not as good as you imagined,
我并不是你想像中的那么好,
Lost my city is still bustling,
失去了我的城市依旧繁华,
When the lily in full bloom River,
当百合花开满了河畔,
A child suddenly laughed,
一个小孩子突然笑了起来,
That might be me,
那可能就是我,
Pray for you.
在为你祈祷.
Shed at night like a touch of bright,
就像夜晚洒下一抹光亮,
Your arrival ,
你的到来,
Let my heart ever since to rely on,
让我的心中从此有了依靠,
Even if all of the people are gone,
即使所有的人都走了,
I would not be afraid,
我也不会害怕,
Because you always made me feel that,
因为你总让我感到,
You will always appear,
你会随时出现,
When each flower bloom facing the sun,
当每朵花都向阳绽放,
Children enjoy to loudly cry,
孩子们尽情地放声呐喊,
I wish,
我多希望,
We are able to meet there.
我们能够在那儿相聚.

立意不是很明确 文采不错 但总觉得内容很空就像是喝了一大杯白开水 中段里面应该稍微修改一下