托福作文求评分

问题描述:

托福作文求评分
Topic72 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Grades (marks) encourage students to learn.Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
It has been a long time for teachers to use grades to encourage students to learn.Frankly speaking,I do not think this method works.Grades,on the contrary,may actually discourage students’ passion in learning.The reasons I used to illustrate my point of view will be given in the rest of the passage.
Nowadays,students have so much pressure from their everyday life and those who received low grades in the subjects will have much more pressure since parents will be likely to compare their grades with those of their classmates.So these students will have so much pressure on them that they may lose the interests in learning and learning has become a burden to them.As a result,these students may probably fall behind in their class and will no longer care their grades at all.
Moreover,grades may have counteractive on students’ study.After receiving a high grade in a subject,some students will lose their momentum in study.They will perceive that they are very good at this subject and they do not need to put too much time in studying it anymore.This kind of thoughts is very normal in many students.For instance,when I was in middle,I did well in my chemistry and it was very easy for me to get full marks in the exams.However,I gradually spent less and less time in chemistry.As it is known to everyone,learning is a long term process,so once I got lazy in my study,my grade dropped and I could not did as great as I used to do any more.All in all,grades may actually cause students to fall behind in the class.
To sum up,I am convinced that grades cannot encourage students to study; rather,it may have counteractive to study.
如果在真实考试的话这作文大概多少分?有什么要改进的地方?

结尾过于简短,结尾需要重申总论点和分论点,大概22分的样子