请高手帮忙修改雅思作文 剑桥8T1writing...关于家长还是学校才能更好地使孩子成为.
请高手帮忙修改雅思作文 剑桥8T1writing...关于家长还是学校才能更好地使孩子成为.
some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.Others,however,believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
For children,whether parenting or schooling should responsible to cultivate children to be a good member of society has triggered a heated debate.I‘ll analysis both views in this essay.
those who suppose that parents shoulder to teach their children hold the views as follows.Firstly,parents exert potential impacts on children as children stay longer with their parents.As a result,parents are able to set good example for their descents,helping them to build up active philosophy of life.Secondly,parents pay for everything for their children,including accomodation expense,training fee as well as entertainment cost.Children,undoubtedly,ask for parents' advices before they take any actions.In this way,parents play the role as the monitor and they,actually,should be blamed if children go astray .
Nevertheless,a number of citizens object it for the following reasons.Schools,where children acquire a variety of knowledge from,are a society in miniature,children tend to cultivate sense of cooperation and responsibility which beneficial to the whole sociey.Furthermore,teachers insill the moral value to children by the examples from all works of life home and abroad,thus,children could be inspired and learn how to address difficulties in the future life.Additionally,school can afford kinds of infrastructure which can't be replace by home,such as library ,gym as well as multi-media classroom,by these can children expand outlooks,work out their physical body.Last but not the least,children weave personal network in school,the strong personal relationship and social skills contribute to work when they grow up.
All in all,as i see it,we should combine schooling and parenting together,other education can be added in if necessary.It's serious wrong to attribute the education to any of them.
上面那位兄弟是要误人前程呀,只会夸人,对他真正考试有用么?恕我直言,这篇文章要得高分是不可能的,而且10分里8分也拿不到.就拿第一段为例：For children,whether parenting or schooling should responsible to culti...我觉得你分析得太好了！！！能不能再帮忙下面的指正 我会再给20分。。。过两天要考试了。。。希望帮忙一下 谢谢算了，好人做到底，给你再改完吧T(t)hose who BELIEVE that parents should teach their children hold the views as follows: Firstly,parents exert potential impacts on children as children stay longer with their parents.As a result,parents are able to set A good example for their KIDS,helping the KIDS to build up AN active philosophy of life.Secondly,parents pay for everything for their children,including FOOD, CLOTHING, SCHOOL AND OTHER expenseS.Children,undoubtedly,TEND TO SEEK parents' advices before they take any action(s).In this way,parents CAN play the role OF A (as the)GUARDIAN and they,actually,should be blamed if THEIR children go astray . MEANWHILE, SOME OTHERS HOLD A DIFFERENT VIEW.THEY SAY THAT schools,where children acquire a variety of knowledge (from),are JUST LIKE a society in miniature,AND THEY SHOULD HELP THE children cultivateA sense of cooperation and responsibility which IS beneficial to the whole sociey.Furthermore, teachers CANinsTill the moral valueS to children WITH examples from all WALKS of life AT home and abroad. Thus,children could be inspired and learn how to FACE difficulties in theIR future life. Additionally,schoolS POSSESS ( can afford) ALL kinds of infrastructure THAT (which) can't be FOUND IN NORMAL HOUSEHOLDS (replace by home),such as THE library ,gym as well as multi-media classroom,WHERE (by these can) children CAN expand THEIR HORIZONS(outlooks,) AND GAIN (work out their) physical STRENGTH(body).Last but not the least,children DEVELOP THEIR (weave personal network in school,the strong personal relationship and) social skills IN SCHOOLS, WHICH CAN HELP THEM TO BETTER ADAPT TO THE SOCIETY (contribute to work) when they grow up.All in all,as i see it,we should combine schooling and parenting together,WHILE other FORMS OF education COULD ALSO BE APPLIED if necessary.It WOULD BE seriousLY wrong AND DANGEROUS to LIMIT (attribute) the education OF OUR CHILDREN TO ONLY ONE SINGLE WAY （to any of them).这么辛苦，快加分。