How to write an appropriate introduction?Who can help me polish this script?Thanks?I am going to attend an independent enrollment interview of a university.An appropriate introduction is needed.Following is the draft,which I hope you can help me to polish and correct some grammar mistakes I made(because I am not a native English speaker of course).Because this is an oral introduction,the diction should not be to formal.I'm Charlie,from Petard High Sch
How to write an appropriate introduction?Who can help me polish this script?Thanks?
I am going to attend an
independent enrollment interview of a university.An appropriate introduction is
needed.Following is the draft,which I hope you can help me to polish and correct
some grammar mistakes I made(because I am not a native English speaker of
course).Because this is an oral introduction,the diction should not be to
formal.
I'm Charlie,from Petard High School.My hobby is computer
programming.I bought many books about Ruby,C++,Delphi,OpenGL and Assembly
language,and I learned them myself when I was in junior high school.So,two years
ago,I coded an OpenGL-based multi-threaded graphics engine and subconsequently
built a website and earned a fortune.
Because of this experience where I had
to log on some foreign forums such as OpenGL.org to discuss some technical
topics in English,I realized the importance of English.As a result,I made it a
rule to listen to English podcasts every day;and keep an English diary every
night.Gradually,English has become part and parcel of my life.Ultimately,I
devoted myself to major in English.This is not a compromise,but I will learn
programming myself and try starting my own business while in university.My dream
is to own a business of myself,not just to be a self-employed freelancer.I motto
is where there is a will there is a way,so I believe I can make it with my will!
你英语牛……
I'm Charlie,from Petard High School.My hobby is computer programming.
应该多些几个爱好吧,至少要说one of my hobbies is..否则显得兴趣很单薄
I bought many books about Ruby,C++,Delphi,OpenGL and Assembly language,and I learned them myself when I was in junior high school.So,two years ago,I coded an OpenGL-based multi-threaded graphics engine and subconsequently built a website and earned a fortune.Because of this experience where I had to log on some foreign forums such as OpenGL.org to discuss
感觉这句里的where有点问题,不知道你想要表达的是什么意思..
some technical topics in English,I realized the importance of English.As a result,I made it a rule to listen to English podcasts every day;and keep an English diary every night.Gradually,English
“everyday and to keep”
has become part and parcel of my life.Ultimately,I devoted myself to major in English.This is not
"has become a part of my life" " devoted myself to majoring"动词应该改成ing形式,不过这儿用这个词组显得很奇怪.不如直接说"Ultimately,I decided to major in English.
a compromise,but I will learn programming myself and try starting my own business while in
最好改成”However,this is not a compromise,because I will learn programming myself and try to start my own business"
university.My dream is to own a business of myself,not just to be a self-employed freelancer.I motto is where there is a will there is a way,so I believe I can make it with my will!
My motto is "where there is a will,there is a way"