英语改错高手进,急用,When I was 5,my father bought me the piano with all the money he had saved.Every day I practised playing it though my father demanded.But before long,I transferred my interest in the piano to some other thing so I began to avoid practise it.When my father realized this,he encouraged me,but was strict with me than before.With her help,I went the hardest time and made great progress.Here I sincere express my gratitude to my father.On the jour
英语改错高手进,急用,
When I was 5,my father bought me the piano with all the money he had saved.Every day I practised playing it though my father demanded.But before long,I transferred my interest in the piano to some other thing so I began to avoid practise it.When my father realized this,he encouraged me,but was strict with me than before.With her help,I went the hardest time and made great progress.Here I sincere express my gratitude to my father.On the journey of life,our parents have lit the light of hope for us.What they have done broaden our horizon.No one deserves bigger thanks than to our parents.
When i was 5,my father bought me a piano with all the money he had saved.Everyday I practising playing it as my father demanded.But before long,I transferred my interest in the piano to some other things so I began to avoid to practise it .When my father realized this,he encouraged me,but was stricter with me than before.With his help,i went the hardest time and made great progress.Here i sincerely express my gratitude to my father.On the journey of life,our parents have lit the light of hope for us.What they have done broadens our horizon.No one deserve bigger thanks than out parents.
When I was 5，my father bought me the piano with all the money he had saved.Every day I practised playing it as my father demanded.But before long,I transferred my interest to some other thing, so I began to avoid practising it.When my father realized this,he encouraged me,but he was strict with me than before.With his help,I went through the hardest time and made great progress.Here I sincerely express my gratitude to my father.On the journey of life,our parents light the light of hope for us.What they have done broaden our horizon.No one deserves bigger thanks than our parents.
个人意见
第一个the-a
though--as But（not）before
practise--practising
her--his went（through）
sincere--sincerely
去掉have
broaden--broadens 去掉to
不一定全对
When I was 5 years old，my father bought me the piano with all the money he had saved.Every day I practised playing it as my father's demand.But before long,I transferred my interest to some other things so I began to refuse to practise it.When my father realized this,he encouraged me,but was more strict with me than before.With his help,I went through the hardest times and made great progress.Here I sincerely express my gratitude to my father.On the journey of life,our parents have lit the light of hope for us.What they have done have broaden our horizon.No one deserves more great thanks than our parents.
请注意我修改的地方，不清楚的话，可以找我在线商讨。谢谢！