求雅思高人来看看我这篇雅思大作文估计可以多少分

求雅思高人来看看我这篇雅思大作文估计可以多少分
Modern games are better for developing a wide range of skills for children than traditional games.Do you agree or disagree?
文章
Along with the development of the society ,a number of the problem are brought to our attention,one of which that the game to child the influence,such as modern game and traditional games.To alleviate this problem.Some people claim that the modern game are better for developing a wide rage of skills for children,Whereas other people hold the view that the traditional game limit the ability of the children.
Before presenting my own point of view I will first take a closer examination of each aforementioned perspective.It certainly obvious that the traditional game with no need for large brain skills.As a matter of fact the traditional games have positive effects on participants’ physical fitness,because they demand a large amount of body movements.But we cannot deny the significance of another factor involved in this issue.This means that it is more important the modern game are better of skills for ourself,as the brain skills and mode of thinkings.
In addition,there are no time and geographical limitations for modern games,which provide a more flexible way for players to have relaxation at any time and any place.Specifically speaking the modern game s of considerable significance to skill for children as it is fundamental to our developing for ability.
I have a strong belief that modern games are better for developing a wide range of skills for children than traditional games.as modern games are so important that the our brain ability.
谢谢了·马上考试了~刚刚花了30分钟写的~