谁可以帮我改一下这篇作文啊?改得好有分加

谁可以帮我改一下这篇作文啊?改得好有分加
The pie chart demonstrates the percentage of different countries' consumer outlay on various items in 2002.
As can be found from the graph,the citizens from these five countries spend on the food,drinks and tobacco most,particularly Turkey and Ireland,which account for 32.14% and 28.91% respectively.By contrast,the spending on leisure or education takes up the least percentage in general,for instance,the Spanish just cost 1.98% of their income on it,besides,the Ireland people spend 2.21% on average,to name but two.What is more,the expenditure of clothing and footwear relatively more than the leisure and education,for example,it is extremely starling that the percentage of Italian spend in clothes and shoes ranks the first,which occupies some 9%,Turkey is the next,which takes up 6.63%,while the consumers from Sweden just stand at 5.40%.
By and large ,the consumers from these five countries are willing to spend much more money on food,drinks and tobacco,which are considered as a vital part of their subsistence.
如果会改雅思作文的老师最好顺便给一个分!（Topic:Cambridge 7 Test1）