雅思剑5第一篇小作文,希望大牛帮助改改,顺便给个分数,

雅思剑5第一篇小作文,希望大牛帮助改改,顺便给个分数,
This tendency graph,which from 1940 to 2040,demonstrates the quota of population aged 65 and over in 3 countries,namely Japan,Sweden and USA.All three countries’ percentages stared from lower than 10% in 1940 up to approximately 25% in 2040.The proportion of Sweden and USA had the same increasing tendency from 1940 to 1990(about 7% to 15%),but the percentage of Sweden rose more rapidly than USA between 1990 and 2015 with a peak in 2010 about 20%.However the quota of Japan decreased a little bit from 1940(5%) to 1960(3%),and stayed constant from 1960 to 1980,then the quota increased to 2015 to about 10%.After 2015 the proportions of all three countries rise dramatically to 2040.From the whole graph can man summarize,that the proportion of this three countries will keep rising with an almost same tend.