我下个月考雅思了,雅思大作文求打分!目标6.5,还差多远!(所有分数献上!)

我下个月考雅思了,雅思大作文求打分!目标6.5,还差多远!(所有分数献上!)
some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society.Others,however,believe that school is the place to learn this.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
我的作文：
Currently,more and more people are living under a great pressure,because they are too busy with their works to look after their children and cultivate them.Therefore,there are some individuals thinking schooling is more important than parenting,children can learn to be good members of society in school,while others think parents can do more than schools on this issue.However,in my opinion,both parenting and schooling are vital.
Some people tend to think that children should be taught how to be good members of society by parents.Because they perceive that parents can affect their children a lot,such as children always can learn some good habits from their children,for instance,children will easily learn to smoke from some parents who are addicted to smoking.In addition,they think that parents can communicate withy children better than teachers.Because,parents are more close to children in their minds.Just like sometimes we find that parents always can know what their children want to do before they tell them.Therefore,parents really have better ability and chances to teach and forster children.
On the other hand,some parents are busy with their works very much,so they have no time to look after them and they think schools should cultivate their children instead of them.Because,they think they have paid money to schools,so schools shoud be responsible for their children,including their safety and their learning etc.They think children can have a better education in schools than homes.For example,the school is a better place for them to make friends and they can learn from each other.So they think the best way to cultivate their children is to strenghten shooling.Furthermore,the competition is schools is more fierce,so it can motivate children to be ambitious men and continuously make efforts for their dreams.And we also find some children always have better performances in schools than homes,maybe the environment is a very curcial factor.
Finally,as far as I am concerned,I think both parenting and schooling are essential to children if we want them to be useful members of society,in fact,children can only get the best education under the help of both good parenting and decent schooling,because parenting to children is like water to fish and schooling to them is like air to fish,both them are indispensable.