能不能帮我修改下作文,要求是150字左右
能不能帮我修改下作文,要求是150字左右
Do you prefer high salary or a promising job?
Nowadays ,there is a widespread concern over the issue that what kind of job should we choose ,high salary or promising job?Many people find it too difficult to make a decision.As far as I am concerned ,I prefer a promising job.
As we all know,“The one who wants to wear a crown must bear the weight”.Similarly,if we choose a high-salary job,at the same time,we should undertake the corresponding responsibilities.It is too difficult for many workplace freshmen,because they do not have much experience to deal with various difficulties.On the contrary,if we choose a promising job,we are likely to do some trifles at the beginning and make contact with various people.So we have enough time to make progress and overcome obstacles.
In addition,we can not ensure that the high-salary job can develop well.After all,we are in economic globalization and a small change may cause huge wave.By contrast,if your choice is the promising job,you have developed your ability and are capable of facing many difficulties.Although the future is definite and risky,we still have the ability to survive in various dilemmas.
In conclusion ,I prefer a promising job.
Do you prefer high salary or a promising job?
Nowadays ,there is a widespread concern （ABOUT） the issue that what kind of job should we choose,(a) high salary or（a ） promising job?Many people find it (is)too difficult to make a decision.As far as I am concerned ,I prefer a promising job.
As we all know,“The one who wants to wear a crown must bear the weight”.Similarly,if we choose a high-salary job,at the same time,we should undertake the corresponding responsibilities.It is too difficult for many workplace freshmen,because they do not have much experience to deal with various difficulties.On the contrary,if we choose a promising job,we are likely to do some trifles at the beginning and make contact with various people.So we have enough time to make progress and overcome obstacles.
In addition,we can not ensure that the high-salary job can develop well.After all,we are in economic globalization and a small change may cause huge wave.By contrast,if your (our 前面全部都是以我们来说,这里就不能用你,在外国人看来是非常低级的错误)choice is the promising job,（这一句,and并列句,并列句时态一致,你想用什么时态呢?把have去掉 还有are怪怪的）you have developed your ability and are capable of facing many difficulties.Although the future is definite and risky,we still have the ability to survive in various dilemmas.
In conclusion ,I prefer a promising job.（加长一点.比如：In my opinion,we should take into consideration all aspects of the problems,and then make the right decision.或者Personally,I believe that ____.Consequently,I’m confident that a bright future is awaiting us because ___.
以我之见,我认为/相信…….因此,我确信,光明的未来正等待着我们,因为……）
如果你的水平是高中,这个作文写得不错,大学就还差一点.
英语专业学生批改.在结构方面是不是应该调整一下，觉得有点头重脚轻。然后我的词汇量是不是有点小？