帮我看看我的托福作文吧 多给些建议

帮我看看我的托福作文吧 多给些建议
do you agree or disagree with the following statement Parents are the best teachers .
我的作文：
The recent years have seen the profound changes of edication system,during which a growing number of people deem that parents are the best teachers .Meanwhile ,still some deny it .I side with the former .As I see it ,parents leading is extremely necessary .
A good case in point is my parents ,the most important people of my live ,being my best teacher when I was young,are so patient .As a child ,they taught me how to walked on the road ,how to wrote on the paper ,how to talked with others and how to be a good person ect.In my clear memory ,when I was a primary school student ,is so interested in everything that delight me had a curiosity to try everything new even though it was harmful to me.So my patient parents always had to take good care of me and preventing me from the dangerous things .How important they are
They are not only patient but they usually give me some useful suggestions for me .A particular example is that ,as time went by ,I had been grown year after year .More and more problems,which I had to face ,delight me stressful .The day near the middle exam ,which is my second important exam in my life ,concern me whether I would pass it or not .I couldn’t sleep well all the time .At that time,my parents,who is my most helpful persons ,appeared and try to calm me down .They taught me how to face the exam ,what kind of the quality I must have .After hearing it ,I felt much better .
I am now studying in NO.2 high school ,which is the best high school and being well known all over Guangzhou .
Suppose that my parents have never taught me the living skill and encourage me when I was in trouble ,I will never have such this achievememt now .
I don’t deny that someone think parents aren’t the best teacher.
From what I has been discussed above ,we may safely draw the conclusion that,my parents ,who leaded me and educate me when I was young ,are the best teachers of mine from the birth to death .