麻烦帮我改改作文,
麻烦帮我改改作文,
The value of family
I did not realize what the value of family means to me until the very first day I set foot in the university.My mind is still fresh about that day when my parents told me they would go home then after helping me carry my baggage into the dormitory and unpack them.They turned around and walked away,leaving me alone with my mind blank.Only in that moment did I get fully aware of how dependent I had been on my family and I could not even foresee the life without them.As their figures disappearing in the distance,I felt like losing all the support.For almost 18 years,I have been so accustomed to the care,support and understanding they gave me that I did not consider even once how to live without them.Born in a nuclear family,I obtained all the love from my parents.However,from that day on,I did have to be independent and relied on myself.
Knowing that they miss me not less than I do,I call home frequently.On the phone,I let them know all the things happened around me and my attitude toward them.They give me encouragement when I am in low spirit,supports when in hesitation,advices when in troubles and comfort when in sadness.They still play the role of backup force of mine.I bet they are not only my dear parents but also true friends who I can trust in as long as the earth is round.They are and will be always there for me.I know they do sacrifice too much for the purpose of giving me a fine environment for me to grow up,but they never refer to what they have done for me.I do not know who said it originally-love is speechless,but I suppose the love my parents give me is a perfect example of that.I don’t know how much love I can repay them as I’ve got all theirs from the second I came to this world.Occasionally I saw an essay in a magazine and it told the readers the origin of “family”,which is “father and mother,I love you”.I don’t remember how many times I want to hug them and speak my love out loud.I gradually understand the value of family is to teach people how firmly the love is embracing us.
如果你把第五行的foresee改成tell的话就更好了,这样改不是口语话,是更地道.
As their figures disappearing(-ed) in the distance...
For almost 18 years,I have been so accustomed(used) to the care,support and understanding they gave me that(and) I did not consider even once (have never though of) how to live without them.
However,from that day on,I did have to be independent and relied on myself.(改时态成一般现在时 or I have to learn to be independent and rely on myself.)
写得不错,有时间再来改第二段.