雅思作文评分,只求分数及依据,不用具体的修改建议.

问题描述:

雅思作文评分,只求分数及依据,不用具体的修改建议.
迫切想知道自己的水平究竟是怎样,因为之前没有参加过考试.跪谢.
题目:
Somepeople think that parents should teach children how to be good members ofsociety. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discussthese views and give your own opinion.

正文:
Nowadays, how to educate children to begood members of society is a hot issue among people. There is a greatcontroversy over whether children should be taught by their parents or beeducated in schools. Both views will be discussed below.

Children educated by their parents may havea good understanding of how to become a good member of society. Because mostparents themselves who are able and willing to teach their children are goodmembers of society. So children can imitate their parents’ behaviours. For example,they can learn how to behave well in different situations, what to say invarious conversations, and how to address themselves decently in all sorts ofvenues.

On the other hand, schools are places thatdesigned for educating children. There are good facilities, experienced teachersand good social environments in schools, such facts are helpful to children’sdevelopment. By contrast, children who are educated by their parents at homemay not have access to a suitable social environment in which they can makefriends with other children and develop their soft skills.

In my opinion, both parents and schools shouldmake effort to make children become valuable members of society. At home,parents educate children to do things moderate, while in schools, teachersteach children academic knowledge as well as the rules of society. Under sucheducation, children are more likely to become decent members of society.

To sum up, parents as well as schools havethe responsibility to teach children how to be good members of society.
呃,有很多空格被度娘吃了,因为说什么超过字数限制什么的.关于空格的问题请无视之

楼主以下是你的分和依据
分:6.0或6.5
依据:文章总体来说观点清晰,句式通畅,对题目的要求理解正确.但是观点还不够深入,个别地方用词不当,还有一些微小的语法错误,对于各方观点没有进行深入剖析,思想不够深刻.