People say that a father's love is as a mountain：heavy and silent.It is heavy because he give all his love to us and it is silent because he does not know how to express.My father has never told me he loved me,so i did not think he loved me and sometimes i was upest about it.However,before i left home for the senior school,he often called me,but just asked me some simple question like：how are things with you?or when are you coming home?Gradual,i reali
People say that a father's love is as a mountain：heavy and silent.It is heavy because he give all his love to us and it is silent because he does not know how to express.My father has never told me he loved me,so i did not think he loved me and sometimes i was upest about it.However,before i left home for the senior school,he often called me,but just asked me some simple question like：how are things with you?or when are you coming home?Gradual,i realize that what he missed me although he had never told me.So this is father’s love,not obvious and deep.一共有十处错误
People say that a father's love is 【like】 a mountain：heavy and silent.It is heavy because he 【gives】 all his love to us and it is silent because he does not know how to express 【it】.My father 【had】 never told me he loved me，so i did not think he loved me and sometimes i was upest about it.However，【after】 i left home for the senior school，he often called me，but just asked me some simple 【questions】 like：how are things with you？or when are you coming home？【Gradually】，i 【realized】 that 【】 he missed me although he had never told me.So this is father’s love，not obvious 【but】 deep
不知道行不行
人们说，父亲的爱是如一座山，沉重的寂静。它重是因为他给他所有的爱我们，它是沉默，因为他不知道该如何表达。我父亲从没告诉我他爱我，所以我不认为他爱过我，有时我很担心它。然而，在我离开家之前对高中，他经常给我打电话，但只是问了我一些简单的问题，如：你的情况如何？或你什么时候回家？循序渐进，我意识到，他错过了我，虽然他从来没有告诉我。这是父亲的爱，不明显的，深深的。
1.as--like(as后跟句子,like后跟单词)第一行
2.give--gives(主语he为单三.因此用gives)第一行
3.express后加上it(it作express的宾语)第二行
4.sometime--sometimes有时,第三行
5.before--after第三行
6.question--questions第四行
7.Gradual--Gradually副语作状语,第五行
8.去掉what(从句中不缺少成分,what多余了)第五行
9.had--has(根据上文中的My father has never told me得知)第五行
10.and--but(not...but...固定搭配)第六行/最后一行
People say that a father's love is as a mountain：heavy and silent. It is heavy because he gives all his love to us,it is silent because he does not know how to express. My father has never told me he love me，so i did not think he love me and sometimes i was upset about it. However，before i left home to the senior school，he often called me，but just asked me some simple questions like：how are things with you？or when are you coming home？Gradually，i realize that he missed me although he had never told me. this is father’s love，not obvious and deep.