雅思写作评个分

雅思写作评个分
顺便提一些建议,
Some people say that people should have different amount of holiday according to their job.To what extent do you agree or disagree to this opinion?
In modern businesses length of holidays is arranged to employees depending on their positions and levels in an enterprise and careers they choose.Although many of them sometimes argue that amounts of spared time are unfair,from my perspective,however,the free time should be given related to what and how well tasks that employees complete.
Numerous people complain about their relatively short holiday time compared with those who enjoy longer vocations.However,they ignore the point that rewards are given depending on the task achievement.Consider those people who are in lower positions and make much lower profits for a company,it is unreasonable to give them the same amount of holidays as managers and employers obtain.
Furthermore,the policy of separating levels of rewards,including holidays,can motivate employees to perform better in their professions.Once they have acknowledged that people in higher positions enjoying a better treatment,they tend to work harder and replace the people sitting in higher levels.This may encourage both of the fundamental workers and the relatively higher groups to pay their attention to their work,since they are put significant pressure by lower ones.
However,the fairness is always one of the issues.These basic levels’ employees,from daily experiences,usually work for the longest time compared with those who in other levels.The tactical groups,including chairmen,CEOs and managers,spend much less time on jobs while obtain the most profits,which is what argued by employees the most.However,it can attribute to the responsibility of these people.More the rights and duties a leader has,more the responsibility he or she should pay.These people are who carry large risks of a whole enterprise,and once the company breaks down,they are the most disappointed losers.Therefore,they should be given more holiday time than others in order to encourage and relax them.
In conclusion,the variety of length of holiday can be established depending on one’s position and career,due to the difference in responsibility,although there are still some issues about fairness.