雅思作文批改 麻烦点评一下多少分谢啦.

雅思作文批改 麻烦点评一下多少分谢啦.
With spiritual life being considered increasingly important ,music has been a controversial issue for its effect .Some believe that music plays an important role in society ,while others regard it as a form of individual entertainment .Both enjoys their own reasons .
First of all ,it is an undeniable fact that music has shown concernful influence to society at large .A perception held widely is that a certain type of music is on behalf of a certain social culture .One especially typical example of this is the country music which is considered as people's wishes to pursue a tranquil life,and such perception can cohere to buildup the culture against war and violation to some extent .Despite this ,music can also promote society being more harmonious .
But to the contrary are still some arguements ,Some people believe music is more influential to individuals as a form of entertainment .It is indisputable that music can easily cheer one up from dismay and other negative moods .Rap songs serve as a convincing example which you can listen to when depressing .Another should be taken into consideration is that music can improve personal moral cultivation and enrich one's spiritual life .So some musicians are also splendid artists and good law-observers .
By way of conclusion ,it is my personal belief that music has profound influence both to individuals and society at large .Though some of these can’t be seen apparently but indispensable indeed.