托福作文求批改啊,有木有高手帮帮忙啊!

托福作文求批改啊,有木有高手帮帮忙啊!
怎么都没人回答的T T 第一次也独立作文,完全自学状态中,好像知道弱点在哪里!
题目是：It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.
Friends are important companions in our lives. A true friendship can last as long as our whole lives no matter how old we are and where we go, while an instant friendship can change with fleeting time and different location. It is an undeniable fact that making new friends can get people refreshed and release them from isolation. However, when comes to the question that between keeping the old friends and making new friends, which one is of greater importance, I will absolutely choose the former, for primary two reasons that I will underline below.
The first reason that I would like to elaborate upon is that, by keeping old friends can we experience a life-long friendship based on our true affection, rather than the purpose of eliminating our loneliness. That’s why a lot of people still keep in touch with their elementary school classmates so many years later even when they are in different cities doing totally different things. These long-term relationships are much more worthy to cherish than continuously establishing new friendship, because they won’t disappear with objective things and always back up people in the mental field.
Secondly, I believe that it is a time-consuming task to get to know about new people around us. Our alert on them can be aroused even by their little inappropriate behaviors, being afraid to be cheated in this new relationship. In other words, a complete trust has been established in an old friendship, to which we can open our heart. Without unnecessary hesitation and worry, it is much easier to keep an old friend than to make a new friend.
To conclude, keeping old friends provides us a chance to experience and cherish a friendship in the longer term, with less difficulty and anxiety. For these reasons, I hold the opinion that keeping old friends is much more significant than making new friends.
打错字了，是第一次写独立作文，好想知道弱点在哪里！