英语小短文一篇,帮着改改

问题描述:

英语小短文一篇,帮着改改
Today is april 26th,on the 9:30 am,a girl and her friend were talking and rideing,when a car come from them,then the car hit the bike,the girl's leg and head were hurt.Some one called the police,when the police come,he tould the driver"Revoke you's driving licence or go with her to hospital."then,the driver drive his car escort her to hospital.I think she will be healther.

Today is April 26th.At 9:30 am,a girl and her friend were talking and riding when a car came from them.Then the car hit the bike,the girl's leg and head were hurt.Someone called the police.When the police came,he told the driver,"Revoke your driving licence and go to the hospital with her ."Then,the driver drove her to the hospital.I thought she would be healthier.
这篇作文中的几大问题:通篇时态不一致,应都用过去式;从句中主从事态呼应;句子的符号;介词的运用;有几句中式英文翻译法.上文是修改后的文章,你在看看把