英语幽默短文 80字 急要!要初一的水平 生字不要太多哦!大哥大姐们要是能演讲的那种

Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.He went to see his doctor,who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills,slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office,strolled in and said to his boss:"I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss,"but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠.他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药.
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来.他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有.”
“好啊!”老板吼道,“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋.”
“别听他们的,”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮.好了,别哭了,去商店买10磅土豆来.”
“购物袋在哪?”
“我没有购物袋,就用你的帽子吧.”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”