G类雅思作文评分批改!Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working at home for employers.With the rapid development of technology,we can use more and more ways to communicate with each other.Nowadays,some people suppose to move the work office to home,Communication with colleagues through telephone or Internet,it is very convenient.However,other people have negative position on it.On the one hand,firstly,some people consider that working at home very flex

问题描述:

G类雅思作文评分批改!
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working at home for employers.
With the rapid development of technology,we can use more and more ways to communicate with each other.Nowadays,some people suppose to move the work office to home,Communication with colleagues through telephone or Internet,it is very convenient.However,other people have negative position on it.
On the one hand,firstly,some people consider that working at home very flexible,it is benefit for occasional workers and part time workers.Secondly,it can save time which spend on the road between company and home,the more people working at home the less vehicles and leaking smog,it can contribute a lot to solve the traffic jam and air pollution problems.Thirdly,working at home can increase staff motivation,for example,in the office,various kind of noise embrace us such as telephone ring and the voice of conversation,the last but not least,working at home can save offices space,energy and other facilities,the employers can reduce costs,so it is benefit for them.
On the other hand,in the first place working ate home is not conducive to manage staff and monitor performance,in my opinion,as doing one thing,we not only just see the outcome,but also focus on the process,it is more important to work referring to procedure and standard.In the second place,the company is difficult to train staff,it can lead to possible deterioration of employee’s skill s and work quality.In the third place,working at home is not benefit of maintain team spirit,and lacks communication face to face,staffs working in one company maybe not meet each other for ever.
In conclusion,I don’t think that working at home is a good idea.In the modern world,we can almost do everything at home ,such as shopping,eating,entertaining and so on.If we work at home,the range of people who we contact will become smaller,maybe at that time,we only remember the internet ID or cell phone number each other.
请帮忙对我的作文加以批改或者建议,

这篇文章字数还好,就是结尾要少一点点,尽量用好句来进行结尾,肯定会得5分的

肯定能,因为你写得很好.good!