这样的雅思作文能得多少分?

问题描述:

这样的雅思作文能得多少分?
Some people say college students should pay for all their tuition fees.To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Recently there is an argument on whether students should pay for all their tuition fees .It is quite understandable that individuals from different backgrounds put different interpretations on the same issue.Some people voice support to this,however,there are also quite a few people who strongly contend that government are supposed to pay for some parts of the fees.
People who advocate that college students should pay for all tier tuition fees ,have their sound reasons.They may be more care about this opportunity to go to college.They must prefer their cost to be valuable.Another factor that should be taken into consideration is that if they are required to pay for all their fees,they may be work harder during spare time.They will go to find a part-time job to earn enough money rather than stay home and play computer games all summer holiday.In addition,government is expected to spend money on something more necessary and essential than support college students’ fees.Compared to college students whether can afford tuition fees,the poorest individuals in this society whether can maintain their basic life is more important.
However,the other side of the coin voices its strong oppositions.They hold their view for the reason that college students will do more contributions in the future.Now,government give the opportunities of study in colleges,when they graduate from the college,they can use their knowledge to do good to the whole world.What is also worth noticing is that if they are concern about their fees,they can’t be concentrate on their study.They would be too tired to do homework or task after working on a part-time job.
Admittedly,there are merits to both sides of argument.From my own perspective,I side with the former opinion,to pay for tuition fees not only challenge your abilities about whether you can study perfect whilst getting working experience,but also developing your responsibilies.

7分左右读第一段,感觉很好.套句用得好.第一印象很好,我会考虑给7.5分.第二段开始透露了用词不准和语法问题:may be more care about --> may care more about; They must prefer their cost to be valuable.--> 不通...