帮忙评定一下这篇托福作文可以拿多少分?

帮忙评定一下这篇托福作文可以拿多少分?
Some people argue that one should choose more practical dream rather than challenging one because it is safer.However,as far as I am concern,challenging dreams can bring us more opportunities so they can help us to achieve success.
To begin with,people can be inspired by challenging dream.Once people have their challeging dream,nothing will be impossible because one’s potential is endless.For example,Bill Gates,one of the most successful man in the world,quit from his university and chose a challenging dream,to start a company.Although many people regarded him as a crazy man.After several years effort,Gates created his Microsoft Empire and became the richest man.If he just studied at school,which seem more practical,he would never achieve such success.
In addition,when facing challenging tasks,people always work harder.I believe pressure and challenge can bring out the best results.For instance,my uncle,who lived in a remote rural area,determined himself to become a people who live in city when he saw how attractive city was.He worker very hard and overcame every difficulties he faced with his challenging dream,living in city.Finally,he reached his goal and lived very well in city.If he never dreamed about such a challenging goal,he would just lived in remote area with limited sight.
Last but not least.Practical plan will impede our ability to create something.When people live a cozy life,they may feel satisfied and stop to search new things.After my brother gave up studying abroad and stayed at home country in order to get what seem practical.,the ambition he used to have was gone since he has adapted to his life.
In conclusion,Since practical plan will prevent people from making breakthrough,challenging plans become definitely beneficial to us because they can inspire our potential and stimulate us to work harder.