雅思作文批改,第一次写啊…麻烦高手点评…谢谢~

雅思作文批改,第一次写啊…麻烦高手点评…谢谢~
有人认为*应该控制暴力电影以减少社会上逐渐增高的暴力犯罪案件.Do you agree or disagree?
Some people hold the view that violence in films is one of the reasons that lead to violent crimes so government should keep it under control.I’m standing firmly on their side by three reasons.
To begin with,the dramatic endings in violent films will wake up the evil minds in some people since the tough guys in the movies may luckily escape being punished or even become heroes.Those who haven’t form a sense of right and wrong and can’t tell drama from reality will probably be misleaded to a guilty road.
Dramatic endings are only creating evil ideas in some people’s minds,but the tricks in violent films are teaching those people how to perform a clever crime.To attract a large audience and selling more tickets,the film writers will try all means to create new witty tricks.Once the potential criminals appreciate and understand some of such tricks,they will either choose a suitable one or combine several ones to make their own,thus causing troubles for the secure of our society.
Witty tricks and dramatic endings are just pulling up crimes,but it is the violence scenes which are ignorant of precious lives that make a crime into a violent crime.If there were fewer cold blooded killing and fewer fierce fighting in the movies,our society might become a more harmony world.
Admittedly,violence in films not necessary always leads to violent crimes,and they may have some positive effects on the audience.Governments don’t need to ban them,but should impose limitations on the percentage of violence in films as well as on age groups.In this way,the decrease in the number of violent crimes is predictable.