帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.

帮我看一下这篇英语作文有什么要改进的地方.
How to Be Successful in Your Life
Hello,everyone!I'm Zhu Zhentao.I come from Class One,Grade Eight.Today I will talk about success.Everyone wants to be successful in life.I think first,you should fix a aim.Second,you should try your best to achieve the aim.Third,don't give up!The achievement of a aim comes at a price.For example,Lang Lang began taking piano lessons at the age of three,it cost him much time,but nowhe is the one of the most famous pianists in the world.You shouldn't think that it's hard to achieve the aim.You should think that you are the best!That's all!Thank you!