请高人帮我改下雅思作文.最高能打个分

问题描述:

请高人帮我改下雅思作文.最高能打个分
Some people think computer and Internet are important in children's study,but others think students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Internet and computer are widely used in school's class during the modern society.The rapid advance s in science and technology provide the alternative way in childrend's study.To some people,the use of IT facility plays an indispensable role either in class or leisure time,while others consider that the participation of teachers can help students to learn more effectively.
Admittedly,the speed up development of technology such as computer and Internet facilitate the convenience of study.The resources used as context in projects or assignments can be found on the Internet directly by children.For instance,the search tool GOOGLE has millions of news,images and articles that with a free or very low cost.Furthermore,children access to Internet with no restriction that the studying barrier is not only limit to class,it can be easily used at home.They can study online with the videos and audios and gain the helpful tips which may improve the quality of study.
However,teachers' face-to-face teaching method assist understand the children's needs which promote the study in an effective way because the computers can not analyse what the real stuation is.Teachers can simply discover students' mistakes and misleading opinionsby asking the class questions,paying more attention on the weak areas of the subject and duscussing the confusing problems with children.Moreover,the interaction shown in the class by the students will also reinforce the communication with students.
I think there is no either view is ideal,it will benefit the children to adapt well in the future information era as well as to develop the skill of communicating by only applying the combination of both computer and Internet and teachers.

最后一段是自己写的吧,I think there is no either view is ideal,你到底要表达什么意思?两种意见没有一种是理想的?如果用否定形式的话,那么可以改成 “I don't think either view is ideal,”,或者 “Neither view,...谢谢你的批改,可以大概估计一下是多少分吗?抱歉,从来没有做过英语老师,所以不知如何给分。不过前面的几段都通顺无误,估计分数不会低。