请高手进来 帮我看下我的新托福作文能得几分

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请高手进来 帮我看下我的新托福作文能得几分
我马上就要考了 能帮我看看怎么在短期内提高吗 谢谢 感激不尽 急
议论文 题目是 有些情况下 谎言是否能被接受
There is a severe debate on lying .I think a various kinds of lying with different purposes exist in the society.Some are bad with hazard and some are good which may cure a painful man.Facing the agruement , I have my own ideas.Have you ever experienced a relative's passing away?If you have experienced this,you will be sure to agree to the idea that there are times when lying is acceptable.
You may feel confused about that conclusion.And now let me illustrate my reasons in the folowing paragraphs.
The most important reason is that sometimes lying makes one who is facing an vital situation stay calm.I have learned a story that a girl was attending an significant test which
woud determine her destiny,but her father died in an accident when she was having her test.For the sake of the poor girl,her relatives did not told her the catastrophy.Accordingly,she has passed the test .Although She has already lost her father , she has not lost her future.
The second reason,lies which are like a kind of medicine can cure the wound in people’s heart, weighs the equal importance to the first one.In some occasion,lying may protect someone who is unconfident from being hurted.Although,you know that he is not
that well or he may not be so intelligent,you do not tell him the truth instead oftelling him that he is the best of all.And now the lie may inspire the weak guy to a strong willing man.
In the last,if you lie without anything hazard and on the purpose of helping someone,your lie won't be a bad thing instead of a positive way to trigger a man who is in depression to stand up again.I have a friend who was bad with his grade of physics.When the exam was approaching,he almost knew nothing about the textbook.But his teacher inspired him by lying to him,said “I believe you can fix it and then make a difference.”As you can imagine,he got an A at last.
Considering all the situations above,a white lie sometimes plays an role of saving rather than cheating.So when i am facing such occasion,i will choose to lie.In conclusion,the idea that there are times when lying is acceptable may be supported.

1.先从结构方面一段段的来给你分析.第一段:你一定上过课,或者是看过一些模板.但是感觉你把他们都揉到一起了.这是需要功夫的.揉得不好,就变成了一堆杂乱的东西.我可以看出,这里面有“背景介绍法”“ Have you ever b...