这篇文章有没有错误,

问题描述:

这篇文章有没有错误,
A Little Bird
One day,my parents and I went to a park.I played on the grass and saw a little bird.I was very surpirsed and I picked it up.when I showed the bird to my parents,they were surpirsed too.We didn't know what kind of the bird it was and who was its parent.So,we brought it home.I was very happy .I put it in a box.This little bird was very beautiful.It had yellow beak and white black wings.But it was so young couldn't eat anything,after a moment it died.
对各位高手来说是小菜一碟吧
我还想写得再详细点可是表达不出来

One day,my parents and I went to a park.I played on the grass and saw a little bird.I was very surpirsed[surprised] and I[这个I可以省略] picked it up.when[When] I showed the bird to my parents,they were surpirsed[surprised] too.We didn't know what kind of the[去掉] bird it was and who was its parent [who its parents were].So,[去掉逗号] we brought it home.I was very happy .I put it in a box.This little bird was very beautiful.It had [a] yellow beak and white [and] black wings.But it was so young [that it] couldn't eat anything,[改为句号] after[After] a moment it died.