求改正我的英语作文错误

求改正我的英语作文错误
这是我写的一篇IELTS的作文,题目就是说：现在的人们都喜欢重复做一些事情,但是有些人认为,改变一下现状或许会更不错,讨论两边的优缺点.请高手们帮我纠正一下,并阐述我的主要问题在哪里,我会感激不尽的.
The majority of people would like to do the things which they always do,little by little,it will become one of people’s habits,but,however whiles others claim that experience fresh things could be a better way of living,therefore,a heated debate has been ignited about should people whether try to accept new things or not.
In one hand,people continue doing the same thing could have an array of merits.Initially,people might save a plenty of time from doing intimate things.Moreover,people feel confident to do the things which they always do; therefore,people may receive a satisfactory work report and make people to stay in a positive mood,which is beneficial for people’s health.In a word,keep doing the same things are acceptable and feasible.
In the other hand,repeat doing the same things might contain some drawbacks.In the first place,people may feel bored from the same schedule.In the second place,keep doing the same things may limit people’s technical area,working area or relationships area(人际圈?) ,so it is not beneficial for people’s horizon or career.In the third place,if compare with changing their habits on what people usually do,repeat doing the same things are lack of creativity and imagination.In brief,attempt new things could bring a lot of new feelings and chances in all aspects.
In conclusion,taking all factors into account,I personally hold the view that people should try new things,but people have to consider what is got to be changed and what is not got to be changed.Beneficial habits that people should always keep it.