谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.

谁来帮我修改一下英语作文,奖金多多.
谁帮我把这篇英语作文修改的更生动一下,查出单词、语法、标点错误,修改单词最好不要超过初中范围.谁改得越好悬赏就是谁的,还有更多的奖励!
Today is a fine day,the sun is shine,the sky is bule,and some cloudys are in the sky.I am going to visit GuiLin with my grandparents today.
We go to GuiLin by bus,after two hours.We get to GuiLin.First ,we go to The Seven Star Park,it's a beautiful and famous park.There are some follows in the park,red,yellow,white and orange.They all are very lovely and beautiful.We take many photos in front of the graden.A little white later,we go to the zoo in the park.There are many animals in the zoo,like lion,monkey,tiger,bird and beer.I like brid best,because they have got beautiful feather and can sing many good songs.We watch animals' activity and feed something for them.
After leaving The Seven Star Park.We go to the LiRiver.There are many famous plases beside or on the LiRver.We meet many foreign man.The Li River's water is very clean an the hills are green,it looks like a wonderful picture.We stay beside the Li River a long time,feel very happy.
When we are tired,we take bus home,too.We have a lovely time!