跪求老师帮忙改雅思作文,改改我的语法,结构,还能帮我看看我应该能得几分吗?

问题描述:

跪求老师帮忙改雅思作文,改改我的语法,结构,还能帮我看看我应该能得几分吗?
some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the puishment.Disscuss both and give own opinion.
While the new criminal act that has established,there are some individuals consider the punishments should be various for each crimine according to the real situations.But other public think oppositely,they prefer the penalties must be same for everyone.
On one hand,the court should always make judgements according to the crimine’s motivation,which would shows the kindness and humanity of the court and jury.For example,a man is too hungry to live and he stole some food in order to survive,his motivation is not harmful to the socirty and he is not on purpose.Therefore,this can be consider as a small case and only give light punishment would be more fair to the man.In contrast,if there is another man who is really rich and just steal food as a habit,he might need more lessones rather than just use the fixed punishments to teach him.
On the other hand,same punishments from the fixed law would be much easier for the court to make judgements,also they have clearly evidences to approve their decisions.In addition,it presents justice and equity to the public by obey the law.
In my opinion,punishments should consider different cases will be more appropriate in the modern society.Everyone would meet some difficulties during life time.Therefore punishments and law could be more humanity while people are not deliberately to break the law.
In conclusion,both opinions could work in the court,but it is better to implement depends on the reality.

some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. (注意大小写)Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the puishment. Disscuss both and give justified opinion.(改了一个词,原先意思不明确)
While the new criminal act that has established, there are some individuals considering (用ing语法错误) the punishments should be varified(动词会好一点) for each crimine according to the real situations. But other public think oppositely, they prefer the penalties must be equal(平等) for everyone.
先改到这哈,我先有事,回头给你再看看
On one hand, the court should always make judgements according to the crimine’s motivation, which would shows the kindness and humanity of the court and jury. For example, a man is too hungry to live and he stole some food in order to survive, his motivation is not harmful to the socirty and he is not on purpose. Therefore, this can be consider as a small case and only give light punishment would be more fair to the man. In contrast, if there is another man who is really rich and just steal food as a habit, he might need more lessones rather than just use the fixed punishments to teach him.
On the other hand, same punishments from the fixed law would be much easier for the court to make judgements, also they have clearly evidences to approve their decisions. In addition, it presents justice and equity to the public by obey the law.
In my opinion, punishments should consider different cases will be more appropriate in the modern society. Everyone would meet some difficulties during life time. Therefore punishments and law could be more humanity while people are not deliberately to break the law.
In conclusion, both opinions could work in the court, but it is better to implement depends on the reality.我来帮他解答
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