一段英文搞笑故事

I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it
infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in
one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”
“没有,老师.可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.” “I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall
have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d
ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such
work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other
patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元.”
“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了.” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object
to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now,can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days are short.
老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理.现在,谁给我举个例子? 约翰：嗯,在夏天天都长,在冬天天都短. The lecturer on
evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and
said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a
baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have
worn them off sitting here so long.".
教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时,他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴,那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?” “我来试试看,”一位老太太说. “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧.”


Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!